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Hello My Name is Jamie- Part 5

Sorry for the long delay in this last post…life has been FULL! I want to wrap up this series on my 12 Steps journey by sharing the blessings that have come as a result of surrendering my life and will to my Redeemer(I am skipping ahead to the end). JOY…real joy! I have always been known to my friends and family as a happy person, but my happiness was contingent upon the circumstances of my life. As long as life fit into my little box of perfection and people treated me like I “needed” them to treat me, my joy remained intact. I now know that my joy comes from the Lord. My happiness is no longer tied to people who are going to disappoint me (surprise, they’re human too) or to all of the “stuff” that will happen in life. My joy is my salvation, in the One who paid my ransom! Peace. I can’t help but think of the old song we used to sing at church camp, “I’ve got peace like a river in my soul.”! Those words have REAL meaning for me now. Think about a river. Its path is tumultuou
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Hello My Name is Jamie- Part 4

The day that I made the decision to sit down and begin my moral inventory, will forever be etched into my heart. It was a cold and dreary winter day, much like the state of my spirit. In all honesty, I was DREADING the task at hand. Who in their right mind would want to make an account of every painful memory from the past as well as every sin committed against others?!?! As I sat down at a Starbucks with my favorite flavored coffee beverage in hand, I began praying Psalm 129:23, “Examine me, O God, and know my mind; test me, and discover…if there is any evil in me and guide me in the everlasting way.” I knew that there was pain from my childhood buried so deep that only He would have the power to bring to the surfaces. For so long, I had masked and/or stuffed the wounds in my life, rather than allowing Him to heal them. Within minutes of my prayer, the memories came pouring down like the rain I could hear outside. Just a little side-note, if you ever decide to take a painful j

Hello My Name is Jamie- Part 3

About two months into my recovery journey, I really started to feel like I was becoming a new person. I was feeling free of the chains of anxiety, and was learning what it meant to live in a minute by minute state of surrender to the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Let him have all your worries and cares, for he is always thinking of you and watching everything that concerns you.” Since my maker and redeemer was watching over everything that concerned me, I felt free to live my life, something I had not done before, EVER. Prior to my time in Celebrate Recovery, I spent countless hours trying to “fix” all of the people I cared about most. The main target of my so-called affections was my husband Blake. I put a ridiculous amount of effort into trying to change him into the man that I so desperately needed him to be. All of my attempts to nudge him in the right direction were fruitless. I grew to resent the man I shared a home with and stopped showing him the respect and love that he dese

Hello my Name is Jamie- Part 2

I hesitantly signed up to attend a 12 Step Recovery Study with a group of women I had never met. Unfortunately, I had pre-judged Celebrate Recovery and the type of people who attended it. I assumed(never a good thing to do) that I was above the issues that required “recovery”. God used the first night with my step-sisters as the first chain in the link of breaking down my pride. I sat in a room of women who were able to verbalize all of things that I was feeling but didn’t know how to express. The Lord had lead me to a group of amazing, strong women who knew exactly where I was at, and loved me just the same. I wept in my car as I drove away from our first meeting because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had FINALLY found the place that would strip me of my character defects and draw me closer to the Lord. Until this point, I had lived my life in a cycle of insanity. Insanity has been defined as “doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result ea

Hello my Name is Jamie

This post is the first in a series of 5. I want to share the journey of my heart from this past year of LIVING!! My prayer is that the Lord will speak thru my story and the change that has taken place in my mind, body, and soul. Hello my name is Jamie, and I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who struggles and has victories with codependency. About a year ago, I hit rock bottom emotionally. My marriage, friendships, and faith were all under fire and I realized that I was completely powerless to control all of the things that were most important in my life. Thankfully, God had placed someone in my life that knew exactly where I was at, She had walked the same road ahead of me and was willing to help me out of the pit of despair I had “fallen” into. The first time I called my friend, M, to tell her about my need for a mentor, I shared all of the “issues” that were consuming my mind and thoughts. These issues ranged from a husband who didn’t love me the way I felt he should, fa

Four Years of FUN with Tyler!!

My baby bear is not a baby anymore. It's hard to believe that we just finished celebrating Tyler's 4th year of life. What a BLESSING my loveable little guy is!! This year has been bursting with wonderful new memories with Tyler. The terrible twos and trying threes are long gone and the fun fours are making their debut at the Mullins' house! One of my favorite attributes that Tyler is really developing this year is the gift of encouragement. He is so good at encouraging confidence in his friends and speaking words of life to everyone around him. Tyler's teacher sings his praises every week. She loves the fact that Tyler has so much joy about everything in life. My little guy has been through a lot this past year, so to see the joy that exudes from his sweet heart is priceless to me! Blake and I are praying that Tyler's joy would never be stolen and that God would protect his heart, soul and mind. Tyler's middle name is Evan which means God is good. I

Katy Bug is One-derful!!

sidenote: this post is more than a month late...better late than never though, right? My sweet Katy Bug is 1! How has the time slipped away so quickly? It seems like just yesterday that we were bringing her home from the hospital and now she is starting to walk and beginning to develop her sweet and sassy personality. These past few months we have begun to see glimpses of who Katy Elizabeth will be. While Katy was still waiting to make her entrance into the world I began praying the meaning of her name over her little life. Katy means pure; virginal, and Elizabeth means consecrated to God. I love that I can already see the pure spirit in my baby girl. She genuinely loves life(unless she needs food) and her untainted eyes light up any room that she is in. One thing that you can always count on with Katy is that she is tenacious in her unwavering will. I should have seen the warning signs when she decided that she knew the best way to make her entrance to the world...BREECH!! I